Where you are in your life has a purpose

 

Where you are in your life has nothing to do with anyone else. It has everything to do with you and your purpose in life. When I was a child living with my great-aunt, I would always look at her and wonder why she never married or why she had no children, or why she had no more education. Those were all things that the culture I grew up in taught me directly or indirectly. Things that narrated the success of a person. Unfortunately, the same culture considered women who did not have children to be sterile and she would have to เที่ยวไหนดี in order to have children and finally be able to prove that she was a woman. Men who had no children were seen as mules. Very scary. For years, I believed that something was wrong with me because one, I was not married and two, I had no children and three, I could not get a degree higher than my bachelor's degree. That was how I defined myself. It took me many years and hundreds of hours of Therapy to begin to change the way I think and how I see myself.

Now, although my great-aunt was never married and never had children or was "brought up" by our European cultural standards, she gave me a lot of invaluable advice in my youth. However, it wasn't until I became an adult and began to experience life that I realized how polite my great-aunt was. From a tertiary education point of view, I never received that kind of advice and life lessons in any college of higher education. She taught me how to be a young lady, how to navigate certain things, and how not to let a man drive me crazy. Of course, she never taught me the emotional side of things. That part I had to learn on my own. However, it was her teachings that helped me keep my head above water.

Sadly, my great-aunt died before I could see how her teachings had helped me and I never had the opportunity to let her know how invaluable her teachings were and how much she meant to me. It has been more than 23 years since he passed away, but to this day he remains the most important and instrumental person in my life. I still use her teachings to this day and use them to empower and motivate others. I no longer feel that my life is missing anything because I am not married and because I do not have children. Those things no longer define my life. It is better to be happy and to be content within myself than to have many "things".

My great-aunt never lived an elegant life. She didn't have millions in the bank, she didn't own or reside in a mansion, and she never owned a car. I've never met anyone who likes to walk like her. Although she never had any of that, all the elders of the Congregation passed through her humble abode to get some wisdom from her. She has helped heal marriages, straightened a wayward young man, cared for my sister and me while she cared for her elderly parents who lived with her. All of her brothers and sisters were married and had children, but I never heard my great-aunt say a negative word about her position in life. She was good about herself and her life was serving a purpose for the many people who came from far and near to speak to her. They always left with a happier spirit than they had with her. No one despised her because she was not married and had no children. They may talk about her behind her back and I have listened to the talks, yet they always went back to their life lessons.

Along with my great-aunt's teachings and life lessons, I got more life lessons along the way from other people who were just like her. They did not have and did not want the fancy things in life. They all lived simply, knowing that they are where they are because a higher purpose is being served. They know that their purpose is to motivate and empower other women or girls who are undecided in their life and who do not know how to navigate life, relationships, jobs and even education. In my adult life there are two women who stand out as my mentors. They were much older than me and treated me like their little sister. Wherever those two women are, I am sending them my gratitude and deep love.